Understanding Addiction From Inside the Mind – For Those With Addiction and the Loved Ones of That Person

Side note: When the word “treatment” is used, this may mean different things for different people. Forms of treatment that help me are the 12 steps, attending meetings, working to help others, and working to strengthen the connection I have with the higher power of my understanding. Each case of addition is different, and different treatment methods have different rates of effectiveness for different people.

Side note 2: “substances” can be anything whether it be alcohol, meth, heroin ect. “Having addiction” also includes any substance causing the issues I speak of

The way one understands and views mental illnesses such as addiction plays a crucial role when it comes to treatment. Being aware of the inner workings of one’s mind is especially important for those who have mental illness not because this awareness will stop or lessen such illnesses, but because the awareness can allow someone to recognize the need to enact treatment methods and recognize the importance of lifelong treatment. Understanding what addiction is like, and putting oneself in the mind of the person who has addiction is also extremely important for those close with the person who has addiction. I am going to share the way that I view the inner workings of my mind in the hopes that it helps non addicts better understand the disease of an addict, and that it helps the addict be able to recognize when their addiction is being expressed.

Mental illnesses such as addiction are extremely powerful diseases that live within the mind. The mind is more powerful than we could ever imagine. Most people think of the mind as one unified thing that is you although to me this belief can hinder one’s awareness of their disease. I view the mind as if it is made up of many entities, each of which is vastly different, and they all are competing to be expressed through the individual. I label each of these entities and learn about how they think and what they want so I can identify which entities are expressing their thoughts in my head at a given time. For me some main entities that I have labeled are the addiction entity, the moral entity, the fear entity, the resentful entity, the longing entity and the self riotous entity. The entities one can label in their own head, and how powerful each one is, is completely subjective to the individual. The way I view it, the mind is constantly filtering thoughts that are coming from all of these entities and the ratio of which entities are being expressed the most through you at any given time will change constantly.

Whether you believe there is any truth to the mind being the home of all sorts of different entities is not the point. The point is if you just try to view the mind in this way, it can give you the ability to better recognize when your mental illnesses, or negative entities, are strengthening, therefore allowing you to see that you need to increase your treatment methods. It can also give family members of one with addiction a better ability to comprehend why their loved ones do what they do. It is important to learn the ins and outs of each of the various entities one identifies within their mind so that when the individual is thinking thoughts at any given time, they can reflect on which entity these thoughts are coming from. If the thoughts one is having are questionable it is always important to ask oneself, which entity are these thoughts coming from? Does this entity typically positively impact one’s life or does it typically negatively impact one’s life?

In my experiences, especially when talking about addiction these entities are in constant and direct conflict with one another. One entity, let us call it the moral entity which many view as their true self, feels as though it’s constantly at war with the addiction entity. This is why we see those who have addiction making so many sincere promises to family members about how they will stop using, only to use right after. More often than not when these promises were made, they were made with complete sincerity as the moral entity wants more than anything to be sober. With that said, without proper treatment the addiction entity is much stronger than the moral entity, and the second it gets the chance it drives the individual to picking up. During active addiction the ratio of control vastly favors the addiction entity. Once the addiction entity is stronger than the moral entity it is extremely hard for one to get sober off sheer will power, for you cannot strengthen the moral entity through will power and this is why some form of lifelong treatment is so important. Part of the reason those who have addiction are so misunderstood is because the mind is often viewed as one unified front. If you tell someone you want more than anything to be sober and use right after, it is likely the person you told will think you didn’t really mean it, and don’t actually want to be sober. They will think this because how could one unified mind perform such opposite actions one right after another and be sincere about both actions. The answer is it couldn’t, the mind would have to be completely divided and those who have addiction have just that, a mind that is completely divided and in direct conflict with itself. This conflict of the entities is what drives many addicts into severe periods of deep depression, and at times to suicide. Imagine waking up every day and robbing, terrorizing, and traumatizing the ones you love most in your life with almost no control over doing so. The moral entity within you wants badly to stop, to make the ones you love proud and happy, yet it is too weak compared to the addiction entity without a form of treatment. If an individual with a strong addiction entity is introduced to substances, that entity will take whatever means necessary to get substances, no matter what! That individual will trade everything in life – even the things they love most. Wives, kids, jobs, passions, ect all go out the window – for when the ratio of control greatly favors addiction, nothing will get in its way. As a result, it feels like no matter what the individual does they will always bring pain into the lives of everyone around them because the addiction entity is just too strong for the moral entity to ever overcome.

Often from the outside looking in at someone with addiction it can look like they truly don’t care about anything except substances. It seems they care nothing for their families, their jobs, their passions, everything they once loved. This is only partly true. The addiction entity cares nothing for these things. It only cares for substance, and it will do whatever necessary to have the substance it desires. With that said the moral entity loves those things. The moral entity loves its family, its friends, it often loves life as a whole to a great extent. The problem is, when one is in active addiction the ratio of control greatly favors the addiction entity, so much so that the moral entity may never see the light of day. The most caring and kind hearted of people can quickly be transformed into individuals who seem astonishingly selfish. 

So what should you do if you have a loved one who is an addict? What can you do? Well really that is completely up to you and what you feel in your heart is the right thing. I’m just going to offer advice based on my experiences in case you are highly conflicted, and want advice. I believe the situation comes down to a matter of wisdom. It is extremely important to find a balance of loving yourself and other individuals in your life while also showing as much love as you can to the person who has addiction. Very often it is impossible to keep one with addiction in your immediate life, because of the reasons I mentioned in the preceding paragraph. It is often, in the long run, beneficial for the person with addiction, and the people surrounding them to create separation. For many addicts it takes hitting some sort of bottom for them to become willing to try anything to find recovery. What this bottom is, is different for everyone because each individual case of addiction is completely different. My point in saying this is, sometimes it’s better for all parties, for you to separate from your loved one with addiction while they are still in active addiction. The addict will begin losing things they love – and oftentimes will spiral downward further and faster which for some allows them to hit their bottom and become willing to try anything to get sober. At the same time for the loved ones of the addict, there becomes much less chaos in life. With this said, from my perspective, there are a few things one can do for their loved one who has addiction. The first is to learn about what addiction/alcoholism really is. One great way to do this (though I’m most definitely biased) is to read at least the first three chapters of Alcoholics Anonymous. As someone who has addiction (which AA refers to as Alcoholism) I could identify with almost every aspect of AAs definition of the alcoholic in the first three chapters, and feel it helps one greatly in understanding the disease. The second thing one can do for their loved one who has addiction is to spread love to them from a healthy distance and let them know that they are loved, and will be supported if they ever want to try to enter recovery. Keep in mind that this healthy distance may at times mean complete separation with zero contact. Again, it is all about balance, finding ways to spread love to the individual while also spreading love to the other parties involved including the self.

Without treatment this awareness of which thought is coming from which entity will do the addict little good because the addiction entity is much too strong to be handled with willpower. This is why recovery often seems completely hopeless during active addiction. Although, more often than not at at some point in the addicts life they will reach a point when they realize how detrimental their addiction has become to them and those around them. It is at this point when there is a brief moment of clarity, and the individual becomes willing to try anything to get sober. It is during this time that the individual may start seeking out programs such as NA, AA, Churches, Rehabs, and other treatments to try to find recovery. It is only once individuals do this and begin to develop some strategies that they can use to help treat their addiction such as working recovery programs, making spiritual connections to a higher power, making connections to others in recovery, meditation, etc that this awareness of when their addiction is trying to be expressed can alert the individual of the need to increase the enactment of these treatment methods. These treatment methods strengthen the moral entity and overtime allow it to become stronger then the addiction entity thus changing the ratio of control. However if treatment is stopped, even if one hasn’t used in 40 years their moral entity will grow weaker and soon the addiction entity will take over once again. Addiction is a lifelong disease that requires lifelong treatment no matter how long an individual has been sober for. The addiction entity NEVER goes away, the ratio of control only changes. Oftentimes once a person has been sober for a certain period of time they think they no longer need treatment and that they are “cured”. This mindset often leads to relapse and recognizing which thoughts are coming from the addiction entity can help prevent this from ever happening. If the person can realize which thoughts come from the addiction entity, they will also realize that the entity never goes away, allowing them to understand the need for lifelong treatment. This is yet another reason to work to acknowledge and accept each entity as being integral parts of self. We must always work to change the ratio of control through treatment methods rather than suppressing entities with will power.

Acknowledgement and Acceptance of each of these entities is vital for recovery and growth. It is important not to purposely try to suppress any entity, even if that entity is negative. For instance if one is having a craving for alcohol during their day there is often a natural tendency to try to suppress these thoughts and pretend like they are not there. These entities fester in the darkness and when suppressed will come back stronger and stronger. Therefore it is better to acknowledge that the addiction part of you is speaking, accept that this is a part of you, and then talk to someone you trust about this part of you and work to help others and connect with the higher power of your understanding thus activating other more positive parts of you charging the ratio of control. In doing this, rather than suppressing any particular entity, you’re bringing the entity to light and changing the ratio of control through activating a more positive entity using treatment methods. 

Over time the only thing that changes is how powerful each entity is, or the ratio of control it has over an individual. If one has been using for a long time the addiction entity is exponentially more powerful than the moral entity. However as a person starts enacting methods of treatment the moral entity grows stronger and the addiction entity grows weaker. If one then stops treatment the moral entity will grow weaker and addiction stronger. While the ratio of control may change, no entity ever goes away.

The last reason I believe this technique can be so helpful in maintaining recovery is because it can help individuals better see the tricks of the addiction entity. Addiction is a very tricky and manipulative disease. It can often create thoughts, and then try to disguise those thoughts as if they were coming from the moral entity. When one thinks of their mind as one unified thing it is much easier for the addiction entity to disguise these thoughts, and have them appear to the individuals as unharmful, and even positive. With this said, if one thinks of their mind using this strategy that I am suggesting, they can then better learn the tricks of the addiction entity, and the differences between such entities in order to recognize when their addiction is attempting to take control.